Monday, April 8, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Sloucheroo
"Slouching Toward Adulthood" is a book that tells the story of what the children of helicopter parents are becoming/will become. Sally Koslow extensively interviewed families and recounts their stories of drifting young adults who often end up returning home after university.
Part of the "damage" helicopters parents create is the "I'm Special" generation. " Every decision parents make on their kids' behalf becomes a tiny Lego block whose ultimate destination is creating a monument of self-esteem with a big brain, sports mastery and suberb social skills. The destiny of each child, parents have grown to believe, is to realize and maximize their own brand of dinstinction" (p. 32). Koslow quotes a Harvard lecturer " We have a discomfort with discomfort. By the time they are teenagers, kids have no experience with hardship. Civilization is about adapting to less than perfect situations, yet parents often often have this instantaneous reaction to unpleasantness which is " I can fix this" (p. 32). I totally relate to this and am aware of letting my own children experience discomfort, After a recent birthday party, one of my kids got quite upset when their balloon popped. Part of me wanted to rush out to the store and replace the balloon but I realized the value in learning the lesson that balloons pop, and managing feelings of disappointment. Cha ching!
More gold... " It is up to us as parents to let our adult children determine their fates. This means being the gemeration that acts more like tough but tenderhesrted athletic coaches than fairy godparents with limitless credit cards and an indefatigable ability to solve problems" "If you want to raise children to be problem solvers and decision makers, you allow them to make reasonable choices and expect them to be responsible for their outcome. If you step back, they'll be able to step forward." (P254.)
Part of the "damage" helicopters parents create is the "I'm Special" generation. " Every decision parents make on their kids' behalf becomes a tiny Lego block whose ultimate destination is creating a monument of self-esteem with a big brain, sports mastery and suberb social skills. The destiny of each child, parents have grown to believe, is to realize and maximize their own brand of dinstinction" (p. 32). Koslow quotes a Harvard lecturer " We have a discomfort with discomfort. By the time they are teenagers, kids have no experience with hardship. Civilization is about adapting to less than perfect situations, yet parents often often have this instantaneous reaction to unpleasantness which is " I can fix this" (p. 32). I totally relate to this and am aware of letting my own children experience discomfort, After a recent birthday party, one of my kids got quite upset when their balloon popped. Part of me wanted to rush out to the store and replace the balloon but I realized the value in learning the lesson that balloons pop, and managing feelings of disappointment. Cha ching!
More gold... " It is up to us as parents to let our adult children determine their fates. This means being the gemeration that acts more like tough but tenderhesrted athletic coaches than fairy godparents with limitless credit cards and an indefatigable ability to solve problems" "If you want to raise children to be problem solvers and decision makers, you allow them to make reasonable choices and expect them to be responsible for their outcome. If you step back, they'll be able to step forward." (P254.)
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